Wakefield Daily Item Mock Newspaper -- Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Wakefield Daily Item
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Selectmen Speak of rallying votes for Gs
-WAKEFIELD
-The Wakefield Board of Selectmen are gathering votes for Props G1 and G2 from radical Republican government officials. Said Chrmn. Lawrence Gailor Seiseman (R), "The budgets of the P.D. and F.D. are overinflated as it is." The vote of the Board of Selectmen will be put forth as a full town electorate vote, and with a 8-4 Rep/Dem balance on the Board, including the outlandish Phyllis Hull, the Wakefield electorate will probably go "Yes" toward G1 and G2, despite over 70% of Wakefieldian voters having claimed to vote "No" on G1/G2 in the popular vote. But Dem rallyers such as Halle Wille are turning votes over on Reps to change the flow for voters. Of a 61%/23% D/R balance, there is a 70%/30% N/Y balance on Props G1 and G2. Wille also convinced Selectmen today to drop Prop J, the prop for the new overlay area code.

Cambridge Univ. College of Christ Choir to hit the Cong tonight
-WAKEFIELD
-As part of their U.S. tour, the Choir of College of Christ of Oxford University in England will hit Congregational Church tonight at 7:30 p.m. Attendance is free. The C of C Cambridge choir is one of the most renowned in the world, and they park it in Wakefield on the second stop of their 12-city tour. The choir performed in Beverly tonight and hits Burlington, Vt. Thursday and Alton, N.H., Friday.

Busy Police Day Includes Attempted Vehicular Arson
-WAKEFIELD
-It wasn't a sit-and-the-depot-and-drink-coffee day for the P.D. yesterday, as they were called out off and on throughout the day. The main call was from a Ledyard Court resident who reported at 10:53 a.m. this morning that a man, identified as Amos Brakleton, 24, 24 Stillwell Av., was trying to set a car alight and drive it into a tree.

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The P.D. continued their ticketing Monday, striking over forty cars on Albion, Church, and North Streets on parking violations.

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Police placed a 27-year-old man, unidentified, under arrest at 6:27 a.m. yesterday morning after he struck a police officer for unknown reasons on Spruce Street.

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In other business yesterday:

• A homeless man inside a Starbucks was deported to Vale View Rd. at 6:41 a.m.
• A cat who attacked a woman and boy on Foundry Street was taken to the Wakefield Animal Hospital at 7:12 a.m.
• A man on Stowitcher Court called police at 7:35 a.m. to ask if they could scare away birds waking him up. Police overlooked the call.
• A collision happened off-road at a pole near Audubon Rd. when Dale Rye, 23, 115 Court St., Reading, veered to avoid colliding with Joseph Lamatou, 26, of 1250 Great Wy., Cambridge, but instead fender-bendered Lamatou and drove into a pole. This occurred at 7:37 a.m.
• At 9:11 a.m., Joshlin Weaver, 23, 201 South Ave., Medford, and Frank Mataro, 51, 112 Water St., collided at the intersection of Main and Morel.
• At 10:07 a.m., an elderly woman on Main St. complained of noise when police found no noise to be present.
• At 11:51 a.m., Rob Andlerst, 49, 146 Johnston Ter., Tewksbury, was questioned for entering Alano's on Main Street with a football helmet on his head.
• At 4:44 p.m., police arrested a man on Ledyard Ct. who had reportedly kicked an off-duty officer in the shin.
• At 7:16 p.m., police arrested Roy Halmont, 30, 13 Flint St., for operating an illegal firework that caused a loud, startling boom all throughout the central Greenwood area.

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In other business this morning:

• Police sent kids yelling and playing in the middle of Foundry St. on their way at 12:29 a.m.

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The fire legion put out a kitchen fire on Merion Street at 7:50 a.m.

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The Department of Water and Power is set to dredge and clean Lake Quannapowitt today.

Waltham clobbers Reds

-WAKEFIELD

-In Babe Ruth League action at Greenwood Field yest., the Waltham Cubs clobbered our Wakefield Reds 17-0. Pitcher/pinch hitter Shawn Jackman had a no-hitter against the Wakefield lineup, and only recorded one walk. Rory Stefeneman grand slammed for Waltham, and third baseman Petey Lotus had a 3RBI triple. Rightfielder Patrick Pinckney snagged what would have been a Wakefield grand slam in the 8th.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E

Waltham 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 10 4 17 25 1

WAKEFIELD 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1

Wakefield Daily Item Mock Newspaper -- Monday, June 29, 2009

Most stories, persons fictional. NOTE: Starting in this mock paper, you'll be hearing a lot about someone named Phyllis Hull. Unlike most people mentioned in the mock newspapers, Phyllis Hull IS real--and, boy, does she need to get a life.

Wakefield Daily Item
Monday, June 29, 2009

WIDC/WSSC Release Schedules for 4th of July
-WAKEFIELD
-The Wakefield Independence Day Committee/West Side Social Club have jointly released their schedules for the 4th of July festivities Saturday. Times are subject to change.

Schedule -- Wakefield Independence Day Committee Events
2:00p WSSC Float Registry
5:00p Parade
7:15-10:30p Music on Lower Common
9:45p Fireworks, on Lower Common, over Lake

Schedule -- West Side Social Club
6:30a Fishing Registration
7:00a Fishing
8:00a Pet Show
8:45a Cart/Wagon Parade Registry
9:00a Bicycle Parade Registry
9:15a Cart Parade
9:55a Bicycle Parade
12:00p Canoe Race ends - Head of Lake
12:15-1:05p Races

Wakefieldians speak out against Props G1, G2, J
-WAKEFIELD
-Wakefield is among many towns in Middlesex County trying to rack up "No" votes for props G1, G2, and J for Wednesday's Middlesex County election. G1 and G2 would scoop up funding from Medicaid programs and transfer it to local Mayoral Offices, Boards of Selectmen, and Officiating Offices. J would implement a new overlay area code. Halle Wille was among the most outspoken voters who gathered citizens to a Main Street rally over the weekend. "Our selectmen are too pompous monetarily already!" Wille preached to voters. "Our amorphous entities of rulers must be reinvented!" Wille spoke to a good chunk of the 63% of Wakefieldian voters who are registered as Democrat. "We must elect new leaders, and propositions like G1 and G2 need to be eradicated!" Wille told Item her rallies will continue until Wednesday.

Pittman, Royey hope to regain power for 3rd term
-WAKEFIELD
-Ivan Pittman and Dr. Kenny Royey will be running for county representative to Wakefield in the county election Wednesday. Pittman (D) is running for a third term, having served since 2007. Dr. Royey served from 1999-2001, and is running to fill the spot of David Johnson, who opted out of running for a second term after winning a slot in 2008. Peter Monikan (R) is also opting out; Pauline Allensford (D), a former Selectwoman, is running to fill that spot for a Democratic sweep.
26-year-old representative Bradley Ravell (D), according to a June 14th Item article, was considering opting out of running for a second term. The AP and the Middlesex County Board have now confirmed that he has dropped that consideration and that he will run for reelection Wednesday. The June 14 article said the consideration was pending a June 26 decision.

Further statue desecrations
-WAKEFIELD
-The town of Wakefield, as of Sunday, plans to issue a formal complaint against the Wakefield Police Department for not patrolling the area around the Upper Common heavily enough. The statement, planned to be issued by the Board of Selectmen Monday, says that the P.D. is "20% at fault" for the World War II memorial desecrations Friday and Sunday. Added to the peace sign and trampled flowers of Friday were a "thumbs down" or similar sign and the words "NO CONFLICT." A black spray-paint arrow was also added, the meaning of which has not been determined. Said a Police Department spokesperson in regards to both matters, "We'd like to assure the town that the Police Dept has many troupes and outsets of officers in every part of the town, with equal amounts near the Common, if not more--in addition, we will be beefing up night security around the area." Selectwoman Phyllis Hull remarked, "This laziness on behalf of the P.D. is only all the MORE reason for a transfer of their funds to us."

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At 5:11 p.m. Saturday, Bill Mashee, 35, 204 Outlook Rd., and Sara Jolvus, 33, of 166 Mayward Rd., Mashpee, collided at the Junction. No injuries were reported.

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At 9:00 p.m. Saturday, an arrest was made on the Common when a man stole the hat off of a police officer's head and attempted to throw it into Lake Quannapowitt.

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A resident complained about incessantly barking dogs 6:33 a.m. Sunday.

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Youths found loitering in front of a CVS at 10:10a.m. Sunday were sent on their way.

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A chest of drawers, valued at $150 including contents, was stolen from a Redfield Road home 1:23 p.m. Sunday.

Nats 13/14s advance to Winners Bracket Semis for first time since '98

-WAKEFIELD

-The Wakefield National 13/14-year-old All Stars just edged Quincy Sunday night at Walsh Field. Cody Richman was once again the driving force of the offense for Wakefield, scoring an unanswered walkoff 2RBI double to give Wakefield the 8-6 win. "Our pitching and defense was shaky at first," said Mgr. Mike Deltore, who started Ben Brouae, a pitcher who gave up 6 runs in the first 2 innings. Steven Whalen, third baseman, had two infield flubs. Mikey Deltore Jr. belted a solo shot in the 7th inning to tie the game for Wakefield in what was truly a comeback victory. "We overcompenstaed for hitting, but it worked," said Deltore.

Richman has had 35 home runs and 19 walkoff plays in the season. Wakefield's leading scorer, Richman is 2nd out of players of the eight winners' bracket teams with 67 RBI, a number superceded only by star centerfielder John Bibbie of the undefeated-in-winners-bracket-since-2006 Saugus. The Nats play top seeded Saugus next. When the two teams meet in Saugus Thursday, only nine days will have separated that matchup from the two teams' previosu one on Tuesday, the final game of the season where the Nats toppled Saugus 2-0.

STANDINGS AMONG WINNERS' BRACKET TEAMS

Team W L T

Saugus 21 3 0

Methuen 19 4 1

Brockton 19 5 0

WAKEFIELD 16 8 0

Quincy 15 9 0

Stoneham 14 7 3

Reading 14 8 2

Melrose 14 10 0

Wakefield Daily Item Mock Newspaper -- Wednesday, June 24, 2009

While I was back in Boston, I wrote a fair share of mock versions of the local town paper, The Wakefield Daily Item, which, for some reason, generally seems to have very funny and sometimes poorly-written articles. It isn't The Boston Globe, let's put it that way. But it's one of the many things about Wakefield that I deeply love and cherish anyway. Here's just one of the mock versions I wrote--hopefully there will be more to come, unless I'm too lazy to type them up. =P

Most stories and persons are fictional; only a select few are real. All police logs are fictional.

Wakefield Daily Item
Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Police Department Warns Against Fireworks on 4th
-Wakefield
-Police issued a public announcement Tuesday claiming that the P.D. will not tolerate use of personal fireworks or firecrackers this 4th of July week (June 27-July 5). Dep. Will Halveles said that the P.D. plans to "crack down" on firework/firecracker use "as much as possible." The fine for violating these new rules can be as much as $275, depending on the level of the offense. Said Halveles, "If you use fireworks this 4th, we will know, we will find you, and you will have to pay up."

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At 7:22 a.m. Tuesday, off duty officer Rick Pikee was cruising back streets when he found a middle aged man being subdued by a teenager at 12 Catalpa Street. Investigation showed that the teenager, Peter Dorset, 17, had caught the man, identified as Paul Jenkins, 33, of 7 West Rd., Peabody, breaking into a neighbor's house. Dorset had tackled and subdued Jenkins about two minutes before police arrived. Jenkins was arrested for breaking and entering and petty theft, though, fortunately, he had stolen nothing other than a half-eaten cinnamon keugle from a refrigerator.

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A kitchen fire was reported at 10:11 a.m.; police forwarded the situation to the fire apparatus.

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In other business yesterday, police:

• broke up a physical altercation between a party of youths at Yueull School at 6:13 a.m.
• At 6:51 a.m., police responded to an alarms call at an office building on Water Street. A custodian had set off the alarm accidentally, it transpired.
• At 9:42 a.m., a dog was reported to be romping on Redfield Road unleashed.
• At 3:37 p.m., police cleaned up graffiti on a Bay State Road storefront.
• At 8:11 p.m., police arrested Solma Pakijon, 32, for trying to detonate a mailbox.
• At 11:55 p.m., police responded to a call about "mysterious activity" on Sesame Street. No one was present when police arrived.
• At 4:22a.m. this morning, a Chestnut Street resident reported someone had just driven into a pole.
• At 11:01 a.m., police responded to a call about youths playing baseball in the middle of a street.

Mosquito spraying dates released

-Wakefield

-Dates and times for mosquito spraying have been released.

LOCATION DATE TIME

N of Water St., W of Main St. 7/15 6-11p N of Water St., E of Main St. 7/18 6-11p S of Water St., W of Main St. 7/12 5-10p

S of Water St., E of Main St. 7/14 4-9p

If residents see a spray truck coming, they are advised to go indoors and stay indoors for 20 minutes.

Galvin MS will NOT hold summer school

-Wakefield

-Strapped for funding, and dealing with the Amonson case, Galvin Middle School summer classes have been moved to Wakefield High School and will begin June 29 pending school board approval. Algebra 1, English 6, English 7, Life Science, Biology 11, Biology 12, Pre-Algebra, Algebra 2, Calculus, and World History 10 and 11 are the classes scheduled to be offered at WHS. Call Royce (781) 001-0507.

Birth Announcement & Birth Tallies

-Wakefield

-Daniella (Allens) and Patrick Localman of Wakefield are ecstatic to announce the birth of their son, Jesephiah Localman, June 12, 2009, at Melrose-Wakefield Hospital. Maternal grandparents are Molly and Rich Allens of Melrose. Paternal grandparents are John and Shelly Localman of Wakefield. On Tuesday, four births were recorded at Melrose-Wakefield Hospital.

Nats 13/14s qualify for winners bracket

-Saugus

-Wakefield's 13/14-year-old National All Stars toppled 1st-seeded Saugus to earn a winners' bracket berth for the championships starting June 28. This is the first time since 1998 the Nats have qualified for the winners' bracket. They will be seeded 4th, and play 5th-seeded Quincy Sunday in Wakefield. A largely uneventful but successful game found Cody Richman hitting a 2-run homer in the 7th to clinch a 2-run win.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E

WAKEFIELD 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 2 5 1

Saugus 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0